The Best of [Crappy]AskScience

You have to be smart to get something as impressively wrong as people did in my new favorite subreddit, ShittyAskScience. Here are the highlights:

Do strippers in the southern hemisphere spin around on their poles in the opposite direction as the girls in the northern hemisphere?

 

Did I just find out how to breathe underwater forever?
Did I just find out how to breathe underwater forever?

 

If there is a finite amount of matter in the universe, how does Olive Garden offer unlimited salad and breadsticks?

 

How do I use a quadratic abacus?
How do I use a quadratic abacus?

 

What are the dangers of incestual sex? I just found out my mom had sex with my dad.

 

Did I just solve the problem of perpetual motion?
Did I just solve the problem of perpetual motion?

 

How does urine get brewed into Coors Light?

 

Guys... I've found out why everything is everything..
Guys... I've found out why everything is everything..