• ​Here in America, there are different parts of our great nation where pissing on the streets is mandatory. New York City for instance could be considered a street pisser's Mecca. Most of the our townships, cities and counties have general guidelines and rules against the act of public urination, but very rarely are they enforced. In fact, tinkle-tagging the frontside of some sorta brick and mortar erection, has become one of the USA's most prevalent pastimes after 2am. That's right, mom, baseball, apple pie, and outdoor lizard-draining ...USA!

    But if you take a jump across the pond, up a hill and down a road to Sweden, you'll find a much different attitude over there. Oh, they don't mess around and get the law involved if they come across a roadside reliever. They've found a way to fight water with water, by arming a gentleman with a water cannon to do their bidding. Why spend the time writing a ticket and draining public funds to take care of these offenders, when you can just blast them with six gallons of speeding liquid to face?

  • ​Before we go any further--and we haven't gone far yet--let's just thank the blue heavens that the tweet and picture about to be shared in this story wasn't inspired by any fast food chains. Because I'm sure it would stain my soul so hard that I'd never eat KFC or Arby's again.

    Luckily(?) the tweet and pic were roused by the 7th ranking airline within the United States, US Airways. Still unsure of the who, what, when, where and whys of the situation, US Airway's twitter account was snatched up by a prankster, who thrust upon the world an image of a toy airplane that had tragically crashed into a woman's child-hole. To be fair, the picture shows no evidence of a landing strip.

  • ​Usually when you hear about a flash mob, the first thing that comes to mind is a smattering of folk all suddenly holding perfectly still in an otherwise busy public place for a couple minutes and BLOWING PEOPLE'S GOD DAMN MINDS. Or so they'll tell you. Either that or a bunch of people in trench coats or mysteriously matching attire inexplicably milling about someplace, freaking out the security personnel of the area who now have to start remembering how their walkie talkies work and which channel calls their manager. 

    But in the case of this video, the flash mob has been infused with class, and it subverts the usually lame and tedious to instead give an impromptu classical interlude to an afternoon full of people lucky enough to be on that street, at that moment. Enjoy the Flashmob Symphony of Vallès Symphony Orchestra and friends:

  • ​Everything about Japan is more awesome than America: America doesn’t have the insanity to even begin to compete. I mean, don’t get me wrong, America is plenty crazy, just not robot-bikini-waitress crazy. From Japan's college graduations to their pizza strangeness, they deliver their own brand of bizarre fun day in and day out. Which brings me to the latest example of Japan’s entertainment superiority: 

  • ​It's always amazing when we jump out of our own lives for a second and focus on what other living things are doing all around us. When we do, we're often filled with wonder and amazement to find out that animals and insects show behaviors (at least seemingly) similar to our own. For instance, are these two snails sensing their surroundings for a travel-able path, or are they two forlorn lovebirds reaching for one last kiss as their cherries float apart?

  • ​There are a myriad of reasons not to reach into anyone's pockets except your own: You never really know what you're going to find. At least grasping into your own pocket, your risk is only heightened by how good your memory is or isn't. And if you're not involved in activities that include carrying someone's dirty syringes around, you're most likely going to be pretty safe.

    But if you insist on digging in others' clothed hideaways, you're definitely going to run the risk of entering situations you don't want to be a part of, as comedian Adam Newman quickly found out:

    I'm actually not sure which pocket-treasure was worse, the used tissue or the bag of cocaine. Although the cocaine may get you a felony, at least it doesn't open you up to sickness and disease--unless you put it in your body.

  • ​You never really know what's really going on inside someone's head. That's the biggest reason I never road rage too hard. That guy that cut you off may have done that because he's a crazy killer trying to lure you out of your car and into his shotgun sites. Sure, that example is borderline paranoid, but you get the idea.

  • In more recent years, we recognize Kate Mulgrew as Red from "Orange is the New Black", but before she was a Russian prisoner she was Captain Kathryn Janeway in "Star Trek: Voyager". Now the beloved "Star Trek" captain has signed on to lend her voice to a documentary that basically shouts "eff you science!" at the top of its lungs. ​Yes, former "Star Trek" captain Kate Mulgrew is narrating a documentary about Geocentrism. 

    The documentary, "The Principle", insists that the sun revolves around earth and that NASA is trying to hide this from us. This claim is not something Mulgrew believes in herself. Rather, she claims to have been duped into taking part in the film. And she's not the only one: Every legitimate scientist in the documentary was tricked into thinking they would be in a doc about the cosmos as science understands it--not science as some wingnut extremist, Robert Sungenis, thinks he understands it.

    You can watch the trailer below. Please brace yourself:

  • ​Alright class, let’s keep the giggles to a minimum. We’re all grown-ups here (I assume), and as such, most of us have experience with contraception; the most ubiquitous of which would be the male condom. Ask any gentleman who is willing to break the first rule of don’t kiss and tell, and they’ll tell you that the traditional condom that we’re all familiar with is very little fun, but it's a small price to pay to be naked with a lady. Ladies are soft and purty, so we’ll stuff our reproductive organs into any tight fitting casing you hand us as long as we can look at your parts... ladies. What I didn’t realize is that there’s apparently a new option for skinning your flute. Introducing the Origami Condom:

    Boy, do most of us wish that wasn't a man's hand in the demonstration video
  • ​We’re learning every day that there is quite simply NOTHING that can’t be vended via machine. In Canada, you can get your lips around a brand new Rock Rocket with their easy-to-use crack pipe dispensers. But for those of us who’ve already got perfectly serviceable nugget cookers to completely destroy our lives with, what else does the world of machine-based vending have in store? Well, soon you’ll be able to get dinner, fermented beverages and the Mary Janes all via the convenience of non-judgmental vending boxes!

    Our first course combines the convenience of food-dropped-inside-a-rectangle meets fine dining. With the “Let’s Pizza” machine you can get a fresh baked pizza, cooked right in front of you via robot, in under three minutes. These aren’t frozen pizzas blast baked in this baking box but fresh dough which is kneaded and rolled out, then squirted with sauce, sprinkled with the ingredients of your choice, and baked on the spot. Just like robot mom used to make.


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