• Americans can be, well, let’s just lay it out there on the table: Americans can be a little hyper sensitive. Whatever the reason may be: our puritanical roots, media conditioning, or just good old overreaction; I don’t believe it’s unfair to say that we as Americans tend to see things where they might not necessarily be. Case in point, three stories all linked by one common bond, perceived penis imagery. So let us, inquisitive, investigative, reasonable people that we are, examine each of these cases and determine whether or not actual or implied penii exist.

    Exhibit A: Ballston, Virginia’s Market Place & Cafe

  • ​If you’re willing to take the trek out to Borrego Springs, CA, located about 85 miles North East of San Diego, and visit Galleta Meadows Estate, you will be rewarded for your efforts. The landscape is dotted with huge metal sculptures of dinosaurs, insects, mammoths and a giant serpent lacing up and down through the desert floor. And if that was all that you came to see on a day trip, it would already be worth it. Though, if you stuck around for the evening in this place, you’d be in for an even more incredible show. That’s because Borrego Springs is one of only four places in the world certified as a “Dark Sky Community”; the combination of those two facts led the time-lapse filmmakers of Sunchaser Pictures out there to capture this amazing footage.

    All of these images are achieved without the use of any special effects. Using a Canon 6D and a 5D Mark II paired with 24mm f/1.4 and 28mm f/1.8 lenses, the trails were achieved through 25-second exposures and assembled via StarStaX. I’m sure the sights out there are amazing even with just the naked eye, but this video just takes stargazing to a whole other level.

  • Ever had your ass handed to you by a 6-year-old kid or a very small grown man? I can't tell which it is in this video: The kid is so small, but he kicks and punches like a grown man who fights in the UFC.

    Lets just say he is a kid and not a finely trained dwarf hit man; does he bully other kids, or is he the quiet one at his school who got bullied so he started taking MMA classes to help him protect himself? By pounding the other kids into puddles of 3rd graders.

    Should he even be free? I'm all for learning to protect oneself but this kid needs to be taken off the streets: With him out there, nobody's safe. Sure, he's easy to control right now with candies and Disney movies, but one day those candies will be prostitutes and the Disney movies will be violent outburst followed by broken bones and blood stains. 

  • ​Depending on your stance on humanity, get ready to have your heart warmed and angered all within the span of four minutes. Exercising his right to go out and pick up on potential dates like everyone else, Youtuber and social expreimentist, Brian Whatever makes a valiant attempt to try and find some gay companionship.

    Ranging from your classic "Homophobic Religious Bigots" to your "2104 'Gay is no big deal-ists,'" Brian presses his fingers up against the pulse of society, proving how different, (in)tolerant and (un)comfortable we remain on this planet with gay stuff.

    Thankfully he never encountered any violent extremes in the experiment, but that's probably because everything took place during the light of day and in public.

  • Here in the States our options for hygienically disposing of our waste while out on the town are varied and luxurious, but the problem of open, public defecation in India has reached such an epidemic proportion that the only workable answer is a music video featuring dancing swirly piles of animated fecal matter being lured by a crappy pied piper to a dung party in an arena, conspicuously designed to resemble a giant toilet. I guess if there is one thing universally true, no matter where you’re from: poop likes to party, and it is easily fooled.

    This catchy little tune “Take The Poo To The Loo” promoting UNICEF India’s “FAOD” or--I shit you not--"Fight Against Open Defecation” is apparently a REAL effort to help fight a REAL problem. I know, everything in my gut (mainly pre-processed poo) tells me that this can’t possibly be a real thing, but apparently, according to their website, “Daily 620 million Indians are defecating in the open. That's half the population dumping over 65 million kilos of poo out there every day.”

    So, please, watch this educational video on how you can stop open defecation with the power of dance parties… or something. And be sure to take the pledge (I did, ‘cause, why wouldn’t I?) and TOGETHER, we can "Take The Poo To The Loo!"

  • ​The next time you hear somebody complain about a baby crying on an airplane, show them this. At least an infant's behavior can be excused due to its hunger and/or poopypants. But as an adult, if you know you have flying anxiety or any other publicly obstreperous problems, it's your responsibility to pop those meds and get that counseling. Don't make all of us--who are able to keep our crazy at bay most of the time--deal with yours. 

    On the upside of things, this lady would be an awesome ally to have during a work strike. Her ability to repeat a saying is only paralleled by a grocery store full of candy-wanting five-year olds.

  • Got a commute where you don't have to keep you hands at ten and two? Then why not doodle some heads onto some Post-its and place them on your unsuspecting co-travelers? I know this sounds difficult, but it seems like exercising the creative side of your brain is a whole hell of a lot more healthy than ogling that blonde two rows ahead of you or spending time thinking of ways to get fired into an unemployment check.

  • A lot of people are irrationally ooged out by natural bodily functions. I mean, don’t get me wrong, most of them are honestly gross. The two main ones, numbers “One” and “Two”, are just the body ejecting waste material in the grossest mix of liquid and solid that it can squirt out. I mean “yuck” is a fair response. But there is another excretion of fluid that is just as natural, but infinitely more useful and productive, but that some are still weirdly weirded out by: breast milk. Let’s call this numbers “Three” and “Four”. And there’s one woman in Illinois who apparently has bottomless cups of milk, and the folks at Guinness have made note of ‘em.

    The Breasts of Record, and family.
    Via Today
  • ​For those of us who took 20-25 years to learn the art of coloring within the lines, boy do I have some good news for you. No longer do you have to be ashamed of hanging perfectly waxed images of Winnie The Pooh and My Little Pony next to you kids' 96% spelling tests on the cold box. Now you can actually enjoy what you're coloring. Say you're a fan of demented movies and/or gangster rap. Well, artists Aye Jay and  Todd Spence have got you covered.

    Chico, CA based artist Aye Jay is the brain/man behind the Gangster Rap Coloring Book and The Heavy Metal Fun Time Activity Book. Ever thought what Tu Pac would look like with purple skin? Or which tattoos you'd prefer to see on Henry Rollins? Well, grab up one of these adult children's books, and you can live out any of those possibilities.

  • Are you tired of being gay and were just waiting around for the right motivational speaker to hold your hand and walk you down the straight and narrow? Do you need a clear vision of how happy you'd be living as a angry heterosexual who is a hate crime hobbyist? Can you imagine how much happier you would be if you smashed a vagina against a penis?

    The kids in the video seem terrified, they probably don't quite know what being gay means, but now they know that it's terrifying. They will go home tonight and beg god to not make them "choose" to be gay. 

    The speaker is Detective John Sorenson of Dade County, Florida, and the clip is from a documentary called Stonewall Uprising about the Stonewall Inn riots in the late 1960's. 


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